These violent delights have violent ends
And in their triumph die, like fire and powder,
Which, as they kiss, consume. The sweetest honey
Is loathsome in his own deliciousness
And in the taste confounds the appetite.
Therefore love moderately. Long love doth so.
Too swift arrives as tardy as too slow.
Romeo and Juliet, Act 2, Scene 6
Reader, make sure the tissues are close at hand and the youngsters aren't present for this is an MA+ rated tale of anguish, of unrequited love and, ultimately, of how the outpourings of passion can cause turmoil in a simple suburban home.
Our rabbit Norman has fallen irrevocably in love with my particularly attractive dog, Rosie. Rosie who has the sweetest of dispositions, tries to tolerate his affections politely but Norm, overcome by the intensity of his feelings and with the echoes of a plague of ancestral bucks pounding through his bloodstream will not be swayed. He has upped the ante into the realm of stalkerdom and has now become a serial pest. Poor Rosie has to eat her dinner sidling around her bowl in the manner of a canine compass trying to avoid the unwelcome attentions of her lovelorn swain.
Usually the most placid of creatures Rosie has been forced to show her teeth in an attempt to rid herself of her admirer. He is undeterred, impervious to her subtle remonstrations.
Norm is a love machine and there is not a moment throughout the day when he is not ready for action. The mere sight of his beloved can cause an upsurge of emotion. Random metaphorical shots are fired while Rosie is out on the deck and twice the man of our house has been caught in the deluge which I fear may cause occupational health and safety hazards and a resulting increase in our public liability insurance premium.
Steps have been taken to separate Norm from the object of his desire but incarceration is just a short term answer and I fear a more permanent solution must be found. Snip, snip!
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| In the big house, looking like butter wouldn't melt in his mouth. |
