Fortune Favours The Brave!

It is interesting what constitutes news these days.  As I flicked through the weekend paper I came across the headline Daughter Left To Go It Alone which described how a young Perth girl had been taught to catch the train to school at age nine without the dubious advantages of a mobile phone or parental supervision. Now aged 16 the girl has developed a confidence and independence lacking in many of her peers due to the, "Be careful, be careful," approach to parenting practised by many today.  A well known commentator on childhood in Western Australia , Maggie Dent, describes how she encounters many anxious adolescents in her work and encourages parents to equip their children with opportunities to boost their confidence and their independence.  "You can actually do too much for your children,"she says.

This is something I have thought about a lot.  Both my children have Type One Diabetes and both have attended school in Perth as boarders. My younger daughter was diagnosed at age two and her sister at six.  As a result they have been under my scrutiny to a degree that irked them no end.  Both are capable, independent girls who have managed their own condition for some years, albeit with support from family, the wonderful Endocrinology Department at PMH and the school staff.  In addition to these people, the community and especially my closest friends, have enabled my daughters to develop the skills necessary to living an independent life.

Sleepovers were one of the first hurdles we negotiated.  In our community it was a tradition to have a Year Seven sleepover birthday party.  When my daughter's school friend's 12th birthday party was held in February we had made sure before the event that she could capably inject her own insulin.  However, my  mother-in-law had to go around to the birthday girl's house to draw up the injection.  In those days we were using syringes, not the Epi pens so convenient today.  It is not unusual for the sugary treats available at birthday parties to quickly disappear from the system with the energy used for all the games and the excitement birthday parties bring.  This meant that the mother of the birthday girl had to awaken my daughter several times during the night to check her blood sugar.  This is no small ask as birthday parties are often exhausting events requiring a huge effort. I am very grateful that she was prepared to take on this responsibility for a child not her own.  Over the years this sort of support has been generously given too many times to enumerate.

I think it is all about preparation and  "forewarned is forearmed'.  As in the newspaper article, the girl's mother accompanied her on the train journey the first time to show her what to do and where to go.  So did we lay the groundwork, in conjunction with the other people involved, to allow our girls top participate in activities that others mostly took for granted.  Both had their own ponies and went to Pony Club for example.  I vividly remember my daughter slumped and having a hypo on her pony after a trail ride went on for longer than expected during a Pony Club camp.  Luckily after some glucose all was well.  I can't rave highly enough about what an amazingly kind pony she had!

Beautiful Holly, now gone to live in a greener paddock with another little girl.

It has been a privileged childhood in many respects.  Country life and close-knit communities make it so much easier to feel comfortable that your children are safe and under  knowledgeable, watchful eyes.  The old adage "It takes a village to raise a child" has been so relevant in our situation.   One  Diabetes Clinic I attended with my daughter, then aged about 15 and who had been checking her own blood sugar for too many years to remember,  injecting insulin and even correcting doses as required for a few years, revealed that not everyone was so fortunate.

A boy aged about 17 was with his mother who I think may have been a single parent.  The boy had received a poor report on his control of blood sugars and the mum explained that he wasn't able to give himself the injections and had to wait for her to come home from work so that he had occasions where his sugar levels were too high for too long.  Such is the nature of  waiting rooms that you learn the details of other people's experiences.  I felt sorry for this boy and for his mum.  It has been an absolute blessing to have had so many people helping and supporting us over the years.

On my frequent journey's to the city I often stop to use the facilities at Wickepin (too much information?) Right next to the public loos is the Facey Homestead.  I loved "A Fortunate Life".  It is a great book and it is very humbling and confronting to think of the young Albert Facey who began his working life at around eight.  By fourteen he was an experienced farm labourer who had made his own way in the world for many years.  The world has certainly changed a lot since he was young but I am not sure it is really that much more difficult to negotiate.

The Facey Homestead at Wickepin pictured below.  People had so little in the way of creature comforts in those days.  My stash of pioneering spirit would have been depleted in short order.

"Love the world and yourself in it, move through it as though it offers no resistance, as though the world is your natural element."Audrey Niffenegger

This quote taken from 'The Time Traveller's Wife" encapsulates my hope for my children.  The likelihood that they will meet no resistance is infinitesimal but if having dealt with setbacks once equips you to to deal with them in the future I know they will be able to manage ok.  What is our job as parents?  I think one of the major ones is to prepare them to live without us.