My daughter has advised me that it is probably not a good idea for me to publicly humiliate her by making a speech at the celebration we have planned in honour of her birthday. It's true that I am easily moved to tears in emotional situations such as any discussion involving my children. I think I have had to surreptitiously wipe away the tears in every Parent/Teacher interview I've ever been to, even the 5 minute ones! This being the case I thought I would reflect on some of the more memorable moments from her childhood here (and publicly humiliate her on the internet!).
One such moment was when at age three she decided to swallow one of her father's projectiles which I saw on the benchtop moments before she gulped it down. We were moving into our newly renovated house at the time and all sorts of stray items were being found in strange places in the upheaval. I remember thinking I should put it away because my daughter was well known at a younger age for eating all sorts of inappropriate substances. In fact at one point I started to fear that I would be reported as I had had to ring the Poisons Information Hotline so many times. The assumption that she had moved beyond this stage was false and when I turned around moments later the projectile was gone and could not be located and although my daughter would not dignify me with a conclusive yes or no she had that look in her eye which confirmed that yet again I would be making the call and spending the night in the hospital.
FYI the projectile itself would have been able to move pretty freely through the digestive tract but the danger was that it would corrode and cause damage so its progress had to be monitored via x-rays until it emerged. This involved popsticks people!!
At the time I was 38 weeks pregnant and I do confess that I was pretty unimpressed but off we went to a large regional hospital some 4 hours away where we were both admitted. Although grateful my daughter was the picture of health I almost wished a transient stomach virus on her as where it was challenging to wrangle her at the best of times trying to keep her amused and confined to a bed in a quiet ward proved almost impossible. I felt all eyes were on me also. "There goes the woman whose daughter swallowed a bullet!", the whispering, the shame.
The hospital staff had to perform all the routine tests such as taking temperature and listening to her heartbeat. These people could not have been more pleasant but for some reason my daughter had taken them in dislike and she would not cooperate despite their well practised ploys and encouragement. I find it ironic that she now has a stethoscope of her own! Eventually the thing emerged and with great joy but feeling pretty worn out I staggered into the lift and there stood the attending physician. As the lift doors closed he looked at me with pity in his eyes and said helpfully, "Have you read Toddler taming" by Dr Christopher Green?" I had read it. My copy was well worn and dog-eared. "She's very intelligent", he said and got out.
It is of some comfort to me now that the qualities which made her a force to be reckoned with as a child will stand her in good stead as an adult. She is determined, knows her own mind, resilient and not easily swayed from her purpose. She has strength of character and is opinionated but all this is combined with kindness, compassion and loyalty. We couldn't be more proud at how she has turned out.
The new cover of Toddler Taming shown above reminded me of the time I had to get the plumber out because the toilet would not flush. It all worked fine when he removed the mallee root and the Sesame Street teething ring she had wedged up behind the S bend.
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